Electile Disfunction

One of my most devoted readers has sent me a thoughtful and valuable definition of what ails us in  the  current election cycle.He wishes to share this insight .                                                                                    

 ELECTILE DYSFUNCTION:  the inability to become aroused by any of the candidates put forth by either  political parties.

       {I knew someone would come up with a smart diagnosis}

                                                             

                (I shall now double down on les double entendres--forgive me)

This could explain why Bernie is so reluctant to pull out.

Why Trump claims he needs more protection and complains about his delegate count.

Cruz is courting Evangelicals even though many have pledged not to vote before marriage.

And why the pundits believe Kacich is f*****d.

I trust that it is noted that I am refraining from making any cheap cracks about Secretary Clinton.I did not want blow back from my Lady Readers. 

  

Now we know what the problem is ,we need to harden  our resolve,stiffen our sinews ,gird our loins and rise with firm resolve to thrust  towards that electoral climax we crave.

   

The UK has similar chronic problems at Sexminster:

Dodgy Dave has problems with his offshore  affairs.

To say nothing of that pigs head.

Chancellor  George Osborne complains he does not get value for his large expenditures.

                                      

London Mayor Bonking Boris Johnson  has a famous problem keeping his-- well Johnson --in the Right place.

And Home Secretary Thersa May.

I will not pile on poor Mr.John Whittingdale ,Minister for Culture, and his Dominatrix.He has had  a long,discrete ,low key political career including serving as Political Secretary to the then Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.The tabloids have been cruel enough .Anyway a downing Street Spokesman has said Mr Whittingdale "is a single man entitled to a private life" and that he had the "full confidence" of David Cameron.

 So it seems he will be at the employment exchange by next Friday.

    

  Electile dysfunction may be at a terminal stage for The Labour opposition : we shall see in May.

There does not seem to be any truth to the gossip that Jaunty Jeremy is planning a nostalgic  biking holiday to Berlin with Delectable Dianne Abbott the shadow Culture Minister.

                      

Nor are any of Corbyn's  inner circle planning a trip to Israel to pander to the vast and influential Jewish vote.

Despite Leader Nick Clegg[over] 's best efforts--"no more than 30" notches on his bedpost--the Liberal Democrats were clearly firing blanks at the last election.Resulting in a dramatic LIBDEM population decline at Sexminster.

Their time cohabiting with the Tories proved a total cock up; leading to a major droop in their vote.

They hope to get it up again at the local elections in May.

And they stand firm behind the EU.

Finally, the Scottish Nationalists march forward with great confidence towards their next election--as do all young male Scots every Saturday night.

                                      

They have successfully maintained  the National Secret of what a Scotsman wears under his kilt.

Scottish women I have known assure me that there is nothing to make an international fuss about.

Signs of Electile Dysfunction are appearing all over the world.It is an existential threat to MANkind.

    

         The French Intelligentsia have been the first to seek a cure

       "Courage mes Braves ! Cherchez les femmes"