Following the Cabinet Brexit chaos in the UK, reliable sources have informed the Cyclop's Palace that the American President is planning to confront Theresa May over her unprecedented cruelty towards her opponents.
"Despite his extraordinary success as a dignified and brilliant diplomat,May has dumped Boris Johnson and viciously removed his access to a car and driver"-Trumpfski tweeted.
The President joined
Sources indicate that Trumpfski expects to display his commitment to Bonking Boris by their playing a round of golf at the Trump Turnberry Golf Course in Scotland.It was emphasised that it was thought safest for this display of solidarity to be in a neutral country and on US territory.
It is speculated that at his Windsor tea with Queen Elizabeth,Trumpfski may call for the Queen to behead Teresa May and to declare Brexit.While he is unclear on the precise constitutional arrangement in the UK,he is known to have praised Elizabeth as "very strong,very wise".
The turmoil resulting from the collapse of the UK Brexit cabinet and the expected implosion of NATO just before his UK visit leaves Trumpfski's team with a dilemma as to how to fill time between golf in Scotland,the World Cup Final in Moscow and the Putin Summit in Helsinki,Finland.
It seems an extended visit to the fish market in Helsinki port--a World heritage Site-has been ruled out.
Aides have been informed of Boris Johnson's distinguished Turkish ancestry and are exploring a Sunday meeting with President Erdogan to celebrate his election and subsequent purge of 16,000 trouble makers in the government,military and academia.
If this can be arranged it is expected to take the form of a threesome at Trump Tower in Istanbul.
Erdogan does not play golf.
At a hastily arranged press conference in the White House Sarah Huckleberry Sanders was asked whether the President intended to raise the issue of dissidents with Vlad t
She tartly informed the press corp that this talk of a meeting at the summit was confusing as her briefing book confirmed that Helsinki was a seaport with a world renowned fish market.No mountains.
As to Russian dissidents she said Putin had assured the Donald that there were none ;only hooligans and maybe some "cosmopolitans".These accusations were fake news and an insult to the
Putin had also reconfirmed that Russia had not interfered in US elections,he had not ordered any assassinations in the UK[Moscow did not come up],he had not bribed Sepp Blatter et al to host the World Cup,Russia had not reneged on multiple agreements in Syria and had not asked his oligarchs to funnel money through Deutche Bank to fund Trump's tottering property empire.
Trumpfski tweeted that "Putin was a good man .A STRONG leader and could be trusted"
Finally Secretary of State Mike Pompeo announced that Putin had unilaterally committed to denuclearise Crimea in sync with "our friends in Pyong Yang"
Subsequent claims by Joe Biden that Crimea had no nukes because Ukraine had dismantled them over a decade ago were dismissed as "fake news".
"Anyway " Trumpfski tweeted "what the hell does Ukraine know about nukes in Crimea?"
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